To Cry Again
by sesshyzcutiie
Summary: After witnessing his mother's suicide, Sesshoumaru loses the ability to cry. Instead, he releases his pent up rage in one way...fighting. How can a human by the name of Kagome Higurashi teach him how to cry again? AU.
1. Chapter 1

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay guys. This is a prologue to…you know…do the stuff prologue's are supposed to do. I must warn you, however, that some parts in here get a bit gruesome. But I had to do this in order to show you why Sesshoumaru acts the way he does. Hope you enjoy, and please review. Much luv ^o^_

_p.s. I couldn't think of a name fot Sesshoumaru's mother…so….my friend gave me this one. If you know her real name, a heads up would be greatly appreciated :) _

_._

_._

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At the age of two, Sesshoumaru was a delightful child. He was rarely seen without a smile. His father, rich beyond thought capable, blessed him daily. His mother, beautiful beyond thought possible, coddled and loved him, beating the typical stereotype of how the rich had no time for their children.

Sesshoumaru was happy. And he thought everybody in the world was happy as well. How naïve.

Had he known how his mother's smiles weren't always real, he could have been prepared for the tragedy the future beheld.

.

.

.

Hinako was livid. She stood tall, waiting for that bastard to walk into the mansion. She could hear him pulling the keys out of the ignition. She listened silently as he opened the door, and stepped out before closing it. She listened to the way his hair swayed in the evening breeze, and the clack of his expensive shoes as they walked across their gravel driveway. He opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind him.

Hinako put on a false smile and walked over to him, meeting him at the door, and placing her hands on her swollen belly.

"Hello love, how was work?"she asked.

He hung up his coat and looked at her, smiling as well.

"The first meeting toward our expansion went well, actually."

"Wonderful." She moved forward and hugged him, smelling his two hundred dollar cologne that she gave him. Sniffing deeply, but not obviously, she picked up the scent of slight musk, fatigue, and oh…the other woman. Did he think her stupid?

Not realizing her evaluation of him, he hugged her back. When he pulled away, she placed her hands on his chest and with the brute force of a raging demoness, she slammed him into the far wall. Before he could gather his bearing, she exploded.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out, _love_!?"

Touga stared at her, faking innocence.

"What are you talking about Hina-"

"Did you think that just because I'm pupped, it meant that my senses were dulled?! If anything, they're stronger!! How could you possibly think that I couldn't smell that ningen stench you'd come home with after your unfaithful rutting!!??"she screamed.

Touga frowned. He had used concealing spells. This is not how he wanted things to turn out. But he wouldn't have her screaming at him like this. He was the Alpha.

"What does she have that I don't?"she whispered, her voice thick with the crying to come.

That broke his resolve a bit.

"It's not what you don't have, it's just that, she's different…I think I'm in love with her."

Hinako's heart shattered.

Touga flinched…it was as if he'd heard it. Hinako staggered backwards, and would have fallen if it weren't for the counter behind her.

Touga reached out to steady her, but she retracted violently form his touch.

"Get out."

He looked at her, his face blank, before turning around and stalking gracefully out of her presence. After he left, she sank to the floor, holding her stomach with one hand and wiping her tears with the other.

"Mama?"

Her head shot up and she stared at her baby boy, who was looking at her with worried eyes. He was holding his blanket, the one she got him, in his chubby little fingers.

"Yes, darling?"

"Are…are you ok mama? Why are you cwying?"

She couldn't answer. It hurt so bad to think about it. He didn't realized how much she had loved him, still did, and he went for another woman. He'd regret it. She felt Sesshomaru's stubby arms wrap around her.

"Don't cwy Mama…evewything will be ok."

And with that he ran off to play.

Hinako didn't have it in her to smile. She was broken. She stared vacantly at her son, just two years old. So innocent, perceptive and bright. Well, it didn't take a genius to realize something was wrong with her. First, though, she wanted everyone but her son out. Picking up the cell, she called the maids quarters.

"Yes, my mistress."

"Tell everyone they are fired, as of today. You are all to leave, now. None of you are to inform my mate about this, or you will de disemboweled."

She heard the young woman stutter with shock before hanging up.

She sat on the kitchen floor for an hour, contemplating to make him feel as she felt, hurt as she hurt. But how? How could she inflict pain on him without being vindictive? How could she ruin him, without harming the human woman? She wasn't stupid. She could smell that the ningen was pupped as well. And then it came to her in a startling epiphany.

He didn't need her. That human was pupped as she was pupped, and no doubt beautiful as she was beautiful.

If she disappeared suddenly, he would be filled with the ultimate guilt. Dog demons weren't supposed to betray their mates. They were supposedly only allowed to mate once, but Touga was different. He was stronger, and more stubborn than any dog demon before him. Rules like that didn't matter to him.

But they mattered to her, and she would show him that.

She smiled, wishing she'd be able to see the look on his face when he saw what he had caused. Standing up slowly, she grabbed the kitchen knife on the counter. It was a machete, sharpened and sparkling clean in all its glory. She turned it toward her, and just when she was about to plunge it into her flesh, he called her name.

"Mama?"

She stared at his eyes, golden pools wide with confusion and fear.

She wished he weren't so smart. Normal two year olds would keep playing with their toys.

"Your father did something very mean to me, Sesshy."

She rammed the blade into her stomach, ignoring his screams.

"He doesn't love me anymore."

She continuously plunged the blade into her and her unborn pup, feeling the juices and blood seep out of her and squirt onto the floor. Sesshoumaru backed into the far wall of the kitchen, gasping.

"What did Papa do?"he cried out.

"It's not Papa anymore…you are to call him Father……I'm not enough for him."she whispered, not flinching at the agony she was inflicting upon herself.

"So the only way I can break him like he broke me, is to kill myself."

She stopped stabbing her stomach now, and proceeded to slit her wrist, slowly. The blood dripped onto the floor as she sank down into a seated position. She stared into her baby's wide eyes, and couldn't help but wish he had been somewhere else, but there was no other way to break that man she called a mate.

"I love you, Sesshoumaru. Do you love me?"she asked weakly.

"Y…yes…I…I wove you Mama…"he whispered.

"Good. I'm so glad…so glad that you love me. All I want to feel is love right now…just love…someone to love me…as I love you…and loved your father. Love is such a strong feeling…it makes you do strange things. Please don't blame me, baby."

He nodded, still in shock. How could this be happening? How could his beloved Mama be doing this to herself?

Suddenly she plunged her claws into the remains of her stomach and pulled out her dead pup, looking at it.

"She was so beautiful…maybe I should have waited…"she mumbled, the blood loss catching up to her.

"Isn't she pretty, Sesshy?"

He couldn't talk. He slumped to the floor, eyes wide and mouth agape in horror.

Grabbing the knife again, she placed it on her throat, and with one clean swipe, she slit it. The blood squirted about the kitchen. Sesshoumaru flinched as some splattered upon his face and shirt. He screamed and started to wipe it of, panicking. This was just a dream, just a nightmare.

"I love you,"she said, the blood bubbling out of her mouth, "and I will always love you, no matter what."

He just watched as the blood seeped from her throat and mouth.

"Never forget that…never forget…never………forget…….that I…..I lo….you….ery….uch…"

And she went limp, the knife in one hand, and her daughter in the other.

He got up and ran to her, tripping and skidding in her blood, but finally reached her. He stared at her, but was too afraid to touch her. She still had a slight smile on her face.

"Mama…wake up…pwease wake up…I'm scared…and awone…I dun wanna be awone…"he whispered, shaking.

Maybe she was tired, and was still asleep…but in the back of his mind, where denial wasn't in control…he knew she wasn't.

Four hours he sat there, staring at her glazed over citrus eyes. Where was his father? What was he up to, at work? What could he have done to make his mother do this? Could she be…dead? He had heard that word before…but he never thought I would happen to his mama.

**Flashback…**

"_**Mama? What does dead mean?"**_

_**Hinako halted her action of cutting the meat she was preparing for dinner, and looked at her 1 and a half year old son. He was in his highchair, munching on cereal.**_

_**Where had he heard that?**_

"_**Did someone tell you that word, sweety?"**_

_**He shook his head no.**_

"_**You said it when you were on da phone. You said dat Anty was dead. What does…what does dead mean?"he asked again.**_

_**He was to smart for his own good.**_

"_**Dead is when something happens to a person that they never wake up from. It's like…like they fall asleep forever…they don't wake up, and they don't breathe anymore."**_

_**Sesshoumaru cocked his head to the side and then frowned.**_

"_**Bein dead sounds sad…I dun wanna be dead…I dun wan u to be dead to…that would make Sesshymaru very sad…"**_

_**Hinako smiled and hugged her son. **_

"_**Don't worry Sesshy, I'll never die, and neither will you until Kami decides. I promise.**_

**End Flashback**

She broke her promise.

Looking at the clock, he saw it was well in the A.M. His eyes drifted back to his limp mother.

He didn't know people could smile while they died. Smiling meant happiness, and that would have to mean that she was happy to die.

That realization brought him back to the question of what his father had done. Why?

.

.

.

Touga lay naked beside Izayoi, panting in the aftermath of sex. Now that his ecstasy high wore off, he felt something severely off with his mating mark. Jumping up, he frightened the human woman beside him as he started to throw on his clothes in haste.

"My love…what…"she started but then stopped as she saw the urgency and despair in his eyes.

'What did she do!?"he cried out as he fastened his dress shoes and tore off, forgetting about his car.

Grabbing his phone he called Jaken, his faithful servant.

"Jaken!?"

"_Y…yes, Milord?"_

"What has happened to my mate!?"

"_I don't know, Milord…she called the head of the female staff and told her we were all fired, and we had no choice but to leave immediately or face disembowelment. With all due respect, Milord, whatever you did…pray it didn't hurt her as bad as I think."_

Touga growled into the phone before ordering Jaken back to the mansion to meet him there. Thirty seconds later, he appeared at the front door and almost regurgitated at the stench of blood. Ripping the door off its hinges, and ran to the kitchen and stopped dead at what he saw. His mate, in all her glory lay dead. He saw the unborn pup in her hands, and the knife in the other.

What had she done? No…what had he…done?

He then remembered his son. Frantically, he looked and then saw Sesshoumaru sitting rigid against the wall, eyes wide, staring at Hinako. Inu slowly walked, avoiding the blood on the ground, and knelt in front of his son.

"Sesshoumaru?"he whispered, trying to wipe the dried blood from his face.

"What did you do?"asked Sesshoumaru, his voice dull and monotone, unlike the vibrant loving tone Touga was accustomed to.

He couldn't answer. Instead, he flinched as the newly arrived Jaken screamed and bolted from the house, calling an ambulance.

Gathering Sesshoumaru into his arms, he walked out ignoring the boys screams for him to leave him there. He expected the boy to sob and cry, but no tears came. None at all.

The only thing he received was his son's hatred.

.

.

.

The funeral was horrendous. All throughout, Sesshoumaru was silent, until they opened the coffin for viewing. Sesshoumaru screamed at the top of his lungs, fighting to get to her. His father held him in his arms and he scratched and screamed for his mother to wake up.

"You pwomised me you would neva die…so why did you make youwself die Mama! I dun understand! You hav ta wake up!! Wake up Mama!! WAKE UP!!!!"

Touga and the rest of the funeral sat silent, unable to chastise the boy for screaming. Some got up and excused themselves. The sorrow they felt was too great.

Still, Sesshoumaru never cried.

They had gotten professional help for the boy a few weeks after the funeral. He never answered any of their questions. And still, he never cried.

Then Touga told Sesshoumaru about Izayoi, and his love for her. Sesshoumaru told him that a human woman could never replace his mother, and that he would never love her. Mind you, he was still two years old.

When Inuyasha was born, Sesshoumaru stared at the bundle in Izayoi's arms with disgust. He asked if Touga thought that 'thing' was better than his unborn sister.

Sesshoumaru never told anyone about what he had witnessed that day, no matter how many times he was asked. They knew the memories weren't repressed, but he just chose never to speak of it to anyone.

.

.

.

At four years old, Sesshoumaru was nothing like the average child. He was cruel and cold. He avoided friendships, saying they were a nuisance…in those exact words. The boy was a genius, but knew nothing of happiness.

Those days of smiles and laughs were a memory.

Touga knew that this was his fault. He knew that he was the cause for his eldest sons sociopathic tendencies. What he didn't expect however, was this.

It turned out that Sesshoumaru had gotten into a fight, and it had taken three teachers to remove him from the victim.

"Explain yourself."

"When someone insults you, Father, you put them in their place. Why shouldn't I?"

Touga was taken back.

"Well then tell me this, son, why did you beat that boy within an inch of his life?"

"He spoke of mother."

And with that, Sesshoumaru left and retired to his room.

Touga thought little of the incident, but as the years went by, the number of fights Sesshoumaru had been in were countless. He had even beaten upon his little brother, Inuyasha. The boy was two years younger than him, and they could rarely stay in the same room without fighting each other.

Now the boys were 15 and 17.

Touga sat with Izayoi in bed, a deep frown of sorrow on his face.

"Why does he fight like this, love? I just…can't understand it."he told her.

"Tell me, love, did he ever cry after she died?"

"Not a tear."

"Than maybe fighting is his way of expressing what he can't."she answered simply.

"How do we teach him how to…how to cry?"

"We can't, love. Maybe someone will come along this year in school who'll help him live again."

This is how Sesshoumaru learns to cry.

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**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE REEEEEEVVVVVVIIIIIIEEEEEEWWWWWWSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^o^**


	2. First Day of SchoolFAIL

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay ya'll. I decided that Inu's name would be Touga, as it turned out I was calling him "dog demon" instead of an actual name. So…yea. Hope you enjoy. And please please please please please review. They're the coal to the train, ya dig? ^o^_

The first fight Sesshoumaru ever participated in had been when he was four years old. He remembered it as if it were yesterday. The feeling of some type of emotional strain on his body being released was, exhilarating. He remembered the way the boy had taunted him. He said that his father would never betray his mother, and Sesshoumaru had been so overcome with rage that he had hit the boy without thinking twice.

It was…such a strange feeling. His body shook, his temperature spiked, his heart beat wildly, and all his senses had focused on the opponent. Then there was darkness, and when he awoke, the boy was a sobbing mess on the floor, writhing with pain. A female teacher was hugging him close, telling him that he would be. Then he was put in a car and sent home.

Ever since then he realized that what he couldn't get out emotionally, he could physically. He had been so relieved that there was some way to release the pent up rage inside him, he never thought about how dangerous it was to beat someone within an inch of his life. Each fight brought him farther away from the impending insanity that had been so close to claiming him.

Sesshoumaru sat in his bed, 10 minutes past the alarm clock's siren. He looked at his knuckles, still slightly swollen from the brawl he'd been involved in two days prior. It must have been worse than he'd thought, because normally he'd be healed by now. Getting up, he yawned and stood up, stretching. He heard his insufferable half brother falling out of bed, complaining about how early it was. He heard a knock on his door. It was the human woman.

"Sesshoumaru, honey, are you up?"

"Do you think me incapable of waking myself, woman? Focus on your real son, Inuyasha, and leave me the hell alone."he answered.

He heard her slight intake of breath, and her hesitation, before she spoke again.

"I made breakfast, if you're hungry. Please eat something…I…I made pancakes…I know you like those…I even used gloves so non of my…human…particles fell into the batter…"

Sesshoumaru listened to her reasoning with him to eat her food. He rarely ate anything she made, only if he was starving.

"I'll shower first, woman. Be sure everything is set to my liking before then."

He heard the smile spread on her wretched face, before she left. How he disliked her. But he detested his father even more.

Grabbing a few necessities, he headed to the bathroom, throwing his brother out of the way, who had been heading to the same destination.

"Sesshoumaru, what the hell?"

"Cease your chatter…I won't be long. And even if I was, you'd still have to wait."

He ignored Inuyasha's cursing before slamming the door. Turning the water on cold, he stepped into the shower, sighing as the freezing water cascaded down his body. Warm showers never calmed him down. Then he grabbed his mint-scented soap and lathered his body, before grabbing the shampoo and scrubbing it through his hair. Mint had been his mother's favorite scent.

Finishing up, he stepped out and quickly dried himself off. Putting on some boxers and tying his hair into a lose bun until it dried, he walked out and into his room, ignoring Inuyasha's feeble attempt at sending him a glare. He slammed his door before searching through his closet for something to wear. Grabbing a pair of black skinny jeans, he pulled them on and stretched a bit to loosen them up. Then he pulled on a white tank top, and a dark red form fitting long sleeved shirt. Then he put on his signature leather fingerless gloves. Grabbing a pair of white socks, he slipped them on and looked himself in the mirror. He went to his jewelry chest and pulled out his mother's favorite gold locket. Inside was a picture him and her, smiling. He looked back at the memory and smirked, remembering all the things she had tried to get him to smile. He hated cameras. He decided he'd keep his hair in a messy bun, and silently dared anyone at school to even think him gay. It was his hair and he'd wear it the way he wanted it. He picked up his laced black and white **Vans** before walking out of his room and downstairs to the kitchen.

"Good morning Sesshoumaru."said Izayoi as she happily placed a plate of pancakes before him.

He nodded before wolfing them down, finishing in around five minutes.

"Jesus Sesshoumaru, she didn't even get to finish the damn grace."Inuyasha said loudly as he joined him.

"Hn."

Touga chose at that moment to walk in, seating himself as well. Izayoi placed a chaste kiss to his cheek, much to Sesshoumaru's chagrin. He flinched noticeably, before quickly turning his attention to his phone. 71 unread messages from 71 unknown texters, probably of the female population. Whores.

Deleting all of them, he stood up abruptly.

"I can arrange for a car to send you to school, son."said Touga, before taking a long sip from his coffee.

"I'll walk."

He put on his shoes and grabbed a black **Jansport** before walking out. As he walked he found himself thinking about what the first day back to school would bring. Summer had been a waste of time. He didn't like to spend time with others, preferring solitude. Most were too afraid to associate themselves with him anyways. Maybe someone would look past his reputation and appearance and attempt to be friendly with him. Mostly females tried, but it was only for one thing. Sex. Whores.

He saw a car speed past him and pull up to his temporary home's driveway. Inuyasha ran out and jumped in, and the car u-turned and drove past him. As the car sped by, he saw a female in the back seat. She had the most striking blue eyes, and they locked with his for a split second before vanishing. Something tugged at his heart, but he couldn't name it. Shrugging his shoulders, he used his demon speed to appear at the front of the school, startling the people chatting there.

The day was about to begin.

.

.

.

Kagome sat in the back of the car, half her mind focused on her friend's conversations and the other focused on the boy she had seen walking from the house where they picked up Inuyasha.

"Yasha, who was that boy who was leaving your house?"

"Huh?"

"Kagome, were you listening to ANYTHING I just said?" asked Sango, frowning slightly.

"Umm...sorry, I was thinking about something." ^_^'

"That was Inuyasha's elder brother, Sesshoumaru." answered Miroku.

"You know him?" asked Inuyasha, disgust evident in his voice.

"You keep forgetting that we're in the same grade, Inuyasha."replied Miroku, trying to keep his eyes on the road.

"Oh right…well I measure age by intelligence. Sorry if I think you're younger." he countered, his trademark smirk on his face.

The group laughed as they pulled into the school parking lot. Stepping out, they all surveyed the high school.

"This school is ginormous…"said Kagome, in awe.

She looked at the various types of people. Preps. Goths. Sluts. Normal. Rocker. Unique. The list went on and on.

She surveyed her own outfit, thinking if it was fashionable or not. She had on a white v-neck t-shirt with a green cardigan. Then she had on a pleated jeans mini skirt with knee high white leggings and her tan **UGGS**. Her hair was down with a white headband over her bangs.

"Your outfit is fine. Geez…"

Sango-the tomboy- had on a black tank top, with green cargo shorts that went past her knees. Then she wore black **Converse**. She was rather voluptuous though, so you definitely knew she was a girl. Her hair was in a high ponytail.

Inuyasha wore a black shirt with a puppy on it, dark blue shorts, and black a red **Jordans**.

(IDC about Miroku so leave his outfit to your imagination…but make sure it's muy sexii ^_^)

"Don't worry Kags…you look sexy…and congrats Sango, you've succeeded in looking like a man."said Inuyahsa before taking off screaming as Sango chased him.

Miroku shook his head before following. Kagome stared at the school, a slight frown on her face. Something told her that this first year of high school year would be different.

And that worried her. Because she had a feeling that silver haired demon she had seen earlier had everything to do with it.

She walked into the school with her friends, only to bump into a large crowd. Inuyasha looked pissed as he pushed through. Kagome followed, worried for her friend. She wasn't prepared for what she saw.

.

.

.

Sesshoumaru stared at the person in front of him. Those cruel red eyes and that unruly black hair.

Naraku.

"Sesshoumaru…how are you today?"he asked sarcastically.

Said boy clenched his fists as an answer. He surveyed the area and realized that a crowd had gathered anticipating a fight. At this rate they would get one.

"You've never been concerned about my well being before, Naraku. To what do I owe the pleasure of your concern?"

"Oh stop with that sophisticated talk of yours and act normal, you fuc-

Sesshoumaru's fist slammed into his face, sending him sprawling to the floor. Then he moved to it him again, but Inuyasha blocked the way.

"Damnit Sesh it's the first day, relax."

"Out of my way, half breed."

Kagome gasped. She hated that term. Half demon or not, Inuyasha deserved respect, and she'd be damned if the boy who had occupied her thought previously said those things to her Yasha.

Mustering her courage, she gathered her miko power to her fist and ran toward Sesshoumaru. She crouched low, and then sprang up, upper cutting him in the chin. He gasped in surprise as he almost lost his footing. Not realizing who hit him, he clenched his fist and immediately moved to knock her out. When he was centimeters from her face, he saw those fearful wide blue eyes. He quickly forced himself to stop and collapsed on top of her.

Before Kagome could react, he grabbed her wrist and strattled her unintentionally, angry citrus eyes boring into her blue ones.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Inuyasha was to dumbfounded to do anything, while the rest of the crowd was dead silent. Then he spoke.

"You dare to strike This Sesshoumaru, wench?"he asked.

Kagome's shock wore off and she snarled.

"Who the hell do you think you are, jerk? 'This' Sesshoumaru my ass. You aren't God, numb nuts. And if I ever hear you disrespect Yasha again I'll punch you into next week. Full demon or not."she said angrily.

"You came to the defense of my half breed brother, wench? What do you see in him? Or are you just another one of his whores?"

Kagome gasped in outright rage. She gathered her power again and head butt him. He collapsed in momentary shock. Kagome used that as an opportunity to flip him off of her. She stood and moved to kick him when he sprang up suddenly and pushed her into the lockers that lined the walls. He was about to hit her when two strong arms wrapped themselves around his person and picked him up. The same was done to Kagome. Sesshoumaru frowned when he realized it was school security. Just great. He was about to teach that wretched woman a lesson. They were both pushed into a room that had desk lined up. He recognized it as the In School Suspension room, having been there many times.

Wordlessly, he took a random seat and looked at her…glared at her actually.

She sat down far away from him and glared back.

"Don't look at me like that."she said.

"I stare at anyone however I choose, woman."he replied.

"Well I'm not anyone. I'm Kagome Higurashi, the girl who dared to kick your ass."she said, before smirking and sending a middle finger in his direction.

"Consider yourself lucky girl, had security not interceded, you would have met an untimely end."he said, smirking back at her.

"I would have purified your balls before that happened."

He frowned.

Who the hell did this lowly human female think she was?

Just then, the door opened and a demon male stepped in. He had black hair and piercing green eyes.

"Principle Shinkei."mumbled Sesshoumaru.

"It's the first day back to school. The FIRST day."

Sesshoumaru said nothing.

"And you manage to get into a fight _before_ the first period bell rings. Two weeks detention and-

"Wait Principle Shniki…Shitaki…Shinkei…that's it…umm…it's not his fault. That other kid provoked him."she said.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened. Was she…defending him?

Shinkei's eyes narrowed.

"And how did you get involved?"

"I only moved to stop the fight, but he mistook me as another one of that black haired kids lackeys."

His eyes widened further. This human girl could lie without blinking an eye…and unusual trait for a weakling.

"I see."mumbled Shinkei. "Then you two are to exit the building and return tomorrow. I have taken the time to bring your schedules with me. Take them and leave. Promptly."

He placed the schedules on a desk and left.

"Geez, he didn't have to kick us out…"she mumbled.

'_Why did she help me? Enemies seek to harm their opponents…not aid them…'_

She took her schedule and handed him his.

"Guess we should leave, huh?"

His eyes narrowed.

"Why did you help me?"he asked.

"It can't hurt to do a kind thing."she replied, as if the answer were obvious.

"A kind thing? Preposterous. You expect me to believe you had no underlining intentions? If not, then why me? You see the way I am. Why would you help a person like me? Do you know who I am? I am Sesshoumaru Taisho, a demon with more blood on his seventeen year old hands than some hundred year old demons. If I wanted to, I could tear you apart, human. Give me a good reason."he said, coldly.

He didn't know where the hell that whole paragraph came from, but for some reason, he wanted to know badly.

Kagome stared at him then. She walked closer and stood before him, looking into his eyes. What she saw saddened her. Something happened to him, and now he was guarded, angry, and cold.

"Why not?"she answered simply, before walking out.

Sesshoumaru stared at the spot she had just stood at.

'_Kagome…Higurashi…'_he thought. What an enigma she was. But he decided that he would figure her out.

After all; no puzzle could be unsolved.

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**REVIEWS ARE THE PENIS TO MY……WELL…THAT'S AN ODD ANALOGYBUT U GET MY DRIFT…AND IT WAS A JOKE SO PLZ DON'T THINK ME A WHORE…I'M STILL PURE…LOLOLZZ…BUT REALLY, PLEASE DROP A REVIEW. ^O^**


	3. Friends

Sesshoumaru was thinking to himself as he walked out of the school. What was he going to do now? He pushed open the doors at the front entrance, only to see the human girl humming to herself outside. She turned as she heard the door and ran over to him.

"Hey, since we both got kicked out, how bout we stick together and…do something?"she asked.

He looked at her, face blank.

"What makes you think I'd want to hang out with you?"he asked, coldly.

"Oh get over yourself…lets go to the mini mall. It's only like a fifteen minute walk."she said, before walking off.

He stared at her before jogging to catch up. They walked in an awkward silence before Kagome huffed.

"Ok…um…what's your favorite color?"she asked.

"Don't have one."he deadpanned.

"Ooookayyy…then…I'm going to ask you a personal and very awkward question, but I've always wondered…when you wear skinny jeans…do you shift your balls to one side?"

Sesshoumaru tripped and almost fell before catching himself. He gapped at the blushing girl beside him.

"I refuse to answer that question….you…unbelievable…although it is nice to know that you understand how big this Sesshoumaru must be in order to have to do such a thing…"

Kagome gasped and glared.

"You are sooo conceited."

"Your point?"

Kagome rolled her eyes and continued walking. Silence took over again. They arrived at the mini mall and decided to go to a small café.

Sesshoumaru opened his book bag and searched, before cursing silently.

"I'm gonna get something. Are you coming?"

"I forgot my wallet in my haste. I'll just sit down."he said.

"I'll get you something. What do you want?"she asked.

"This Sesshoumaru will be damned before he lets anyone, much less a human girl, cover his cost in anything."

"I guess you're damned then. Here's the menu."she retorded.

He growled before giving in. "Caramel Frappucino."he said.

"Mkay. Be right back."

While she ordered, he checked his phone. His insufferable half-breed of a brother called him multiple times. He wasn't' even aware the bastard had his number…

He watched as she balanced her wallet and drinks before walking over to him, handing him his. He immediately took a sip, savoring the cool feeling it gave him. He loved caramel.

"It's good, huh?"she asked.

He merely nodded before continuing to sip his drink. Suddenly Kagome jumped. She quickly set down her drink and pulled her phone from her back pocket.

"Hello?"she answered. "Well duh, this is her…Yasha…who else would have my phone? Uhuh…yea…well I'm at the nearby café…the principle kicked us out. Who else? Sesshoumaru genius…we both got caught fighting. Now Yasha…I know your brother is much less than pleasant but please stop SHOUTING AND CUSSING _IN MY EAR_! Thank you…I'm fine Yasha…yeah, uhuh, watev. Tell the gang what happened. Hit me up later. I'm hanging up in 5…4…3…"

-click-

She snapped her phone shut and looked at Sesshoumaru.

"Inuyasha can be so annoying. How do you live with him?"

He stared at her before answering. "Simple…I just ignore his very existence."

Kagome frowned before rolling her eyes and continuing to sip her drink.

Sesshoumaru finished his before tossing it in a trashcan at the far wall.

"Show off…"he heard her mumble.

They sat in a comfortable silence…but we all know Kagome… silence is her enemy…

"Let's keep walking…or do something at least. You have to be the most boring guy. Way to keep a girl entertained."she said, frowning.

"Well maybe if this Sesshoumaru found you the least bit enticing…but since he doesn't…"he chose to trail off there.

"Haha. Funny. Feeling's mutual asswipe. Let's go."

Sesshoumaru couldn't keep the shock off his face.

"Don't think for a moment that you can order This Sess-

She got up and walked out. He watched her with angry eyes through the window as she continued to stalk away without any form of hesitation. The audacity. But he found himself following her anyways.

She was waiting at the end of the street for him, the wretch. He caught up and Kagome talked to him about anything and everything. It turned out she had a mother and a younger brother named Soda or something, but never mentioned her father.

"And he always has his soccer ball with him. I swear he sleeps with the thing-

"What of your father?"

He watched the way she flinched and paled, an aura of sadness around her.

"I'd…rather not talk about that."

He automatically respected her wishes, for had she asked the same about his mother, he would have reacted the same way.

She had expected him to press her for an answer, and was surprised when he didn't. Instead of questioning him, though, she decided not to push her luck. The smell of popcorn hit her nose and she smiled.

Sesshoumaru frowned. How quickly did her emotions change?

"Let's see a movie!"she yelled happily.

"Absolutely not…I'd rather eat my own fecal matter than attend a movie with a human girl such as yourself…no…a human girl in general."

She didn't even hesitate in her response.

"There's a toilet in the lobby of the theatre. Use it and I'll find a pooper-scooper, fork, plate, and napkins."

He had no response.

"Horror, action, romance…"

"Doesn't matter."he grumbled.

"My don't you have quite the poker face mister. I'll get the tickets, and you sit tight wike a good wittle doggy okay. Who's a good boy?"

"Don't push it, Miko."

She giggled before skipping off.

"Insufferable wretch…"he growled.

.

.

.

Two large popcorns, three sodas and five bags of candy later, the two were sitting outside on a bench.

Kagome moaned.

"I think we went overboard with the candy."she mumbled, clutching her stomach.

"The snacks in general, Miko."he said quietly.

Why was he even here with her? He couldn't figure it out.

"What time is it?"she asked.

"We did watch two movies, Miko. And we left at approximately 8:15. A fifteen minute walk later, and we had our café drinks. That left us at about 8:45. Then, we walked about another twenty minutes to the theatre. 9:05. The movie started at 9:30 and ended at 11:30. The next started at 12:00. It is now 2:15."he concluded.

Kagome stared at him for a while, before speaking.

"You could have just told me the time, not our life stories…"

His glare scared away the birds that had been perched around them.

"Just saying.."she said quietly.

The two sat in silence for a bit before his phone rang.

"Sesshomaru speaking. Kagome? Who is that? Oh, the Miko? Yes, she is here. Speak with her? Then you should have called her phone, not mine you moron. Hold on. Shut up…

"Is that Inuyasha?"she asked.

He nodded before continuing.

"I haven't done anything to her. Who do you think I am? Well…nevermind…she is fine. I will get her home in one piece…goodbye, mongrel. Goodbye…GOOD. BYE."

And he hung up. Kagome giggled beside him.

"I love that guy…"she said.

"Eww."he said, in response to her unwanted confession.

"Oh how old are you? I don't like him like _that_, he's one of my closest friends. That's all."

He just nodded.

"Live to party, bust your move-

"Please…stop…"

"What, you don't like the JoBros?"she asked mockingly.

"I am not gay."

"Really? I never could have guessed."she answered.

He glared before sliding to the end of the bench, away from her.

"Aww…did I hurt your feelings?"

He growled, rather loudly as she moved closer than he would have preferred.

This female seemed to enjoy angering him. Why?

"Are you a masochist?" he asked suddenly.

She stared at him in confusion before replying.

"Why do you say that?"she asked warily.

"You constantly anger this Sesshoumaru, which will result in nothing but pain for you…so I can only assume…"he chose to trail off there.

She stared at him for a while before speaking.

"Do you have any friends?"

What? That had absolutely _nothing _to do with his previous question.

"Not friends, merely…acquaintances."he answered truthfully.

"Hmmm…well then, I guess I'll be your first friend. How would you like that?"

He was confused.

"Don't hurt yourself. Yes, or no?"

He didn't know. Could he trust her? So far, all his life he learned that trust led to hurt. He had trusted his mother, but she…..well, that wasn't her fault. He had trusted his father, but he betrayed his mother in the most revolting way with a human wretch, and even impregnated her with that bastard child known as his brother. He had loved his father. He had adored him. He head worshiped the ground at his feet. And then the man disregarded he and his mother as garbage and replaced them with weaklings. And he had the nerve to claim that he loved him.

He felt someone tap him.

"Hey, are you alright?"asked the miko, looking concerned.

"Can I trust you?"he whispered.

"Huh?"she replied.

"You say you wish to be my first friend. I must know if I can trust you…"

Kagome looked at him. He almost looked vulnerable.

"Of course you can trust me, Sesshoumaru."

He nodded slightly before turning to watch the cars drive by.

"Okay, so our first act in our friendship should be getting each other's phone numbers."she said suddenly.

He nodded and handed his phone to her, and vice versa. They typed each other's names and numbers in before handing them back. He rolled his eyes at the smiley face she put at the end of her name.

"Good. So now we can text each other everyday, well, maybe not that much. But if you want this friendship to work, you're gonna have to work with me."

He nodded again.

"Why so quiet?"

He didn't say anything, and abruptly stood up.

"We shouldn't be friends."he said before turning around and swiftly walking away.

Kagome gaped before grabbing her things and running to catch up. When she was within reach she grabbed his arms and forcefully turned him around.

"Sesshoumaru? What did I do wrong?"

"Talking to me was the first crime."he replied coldly.

"You asked if you could trust me, and I don't lie Sesshoumaru."

He just stared at her coldly. He didn't want to admit it, but he was afraid. Afraid that she would turn out like everyone else and break him further. The closer he got to someone, the more it hurt when they vanished.

"What are you afraid of?"she asked softly.

His eyes widened.

He couldn't answer.

"Whatever happened Sesshoumaru, I'm not like them. We all have something that tears us apart on the inside. Don't you think it would be easier for someone to share that pain with?"

His heart was pounding hard, and he clenched the end of his shirt, trying to hide his nervousness. Never before had he felt so…weak.

"Why do you want to be friends with me so badly?"he asked.

"Why do you not?"she answered.

Part of him was wary that she wanted to be friends with him. Another was…surprisingly happy…even if she was human.

He took a deep mental breath before nodding.

"Alright…we will be friends. But if you betray me in any way…this Sesshoumaru will kill you. That is a promise."

She smiled and the two set off in a random direction. And her phone rang.

"Hello? Where am I? Yea, I'm asking, cuz the music in the car is so loud, Inuyasha, tell Miroku to turn it down. Right. We're in front of the park. Uhuh? Then come get us if you're that scared for my supposed safety. Alright…how long…mmkay, bye."

She turned to Sesshoumaru.

"You're brothers gonna be here in like, a minute."

He tried not to groan.

"I would prefer not to be in a close space with him."he deadpanned.

"Aww, that's to bad. Here they come."

"They?"

They both turned to see the car swerve dangerously and somehow parallel parked perfectly next to the side walk.

Inuyasha ran out.

"Kagome!"he yelled and aimed a punch at Sesshoumaru, only for the elder to switly dodge to the right.

"Yasha! Bad boy!"yelled Kagome.

"But…"

"No buts. Now, you came to pick us up, right?"

Miroku and Sango joined them.

"Actually, Kags, we came to pick _you _up."said Sango.

"Ohh, really? Let's go Sesshoumaru. It seems they're feeling a bit picky today."

And with that she u-turned and swiftly bagan walking away, Sesshoumaru beside her.

Inuyasha sputtered before calling her name.

"Kagome, what does it matter if we leave the ice-prick? What's the big deal, you don't even know the guy…"

Sesshoumaru watched the exchange carefully. This was a test…would she fail him?

"It's either both of us or none of us. And that's final Shiloh."

Sesshoumaru almost laughed. Almost.

"We have enough room. It can't hurt, Inuyasha. Beside, you guys live together anyways."

"Keh, whatever. See if I care."he mumbled angrily before calling shotgun.

The group climbed in and sat in silence as Miroku drove.

A very, awkward, silence.

Sesshoumaru's phone vibrated. He took it out and read.

_**Kagome :)-**_

_**Smile. It's your first text from a friend **_

And slowly, a very small piece from the block of ice around his heart cracked and fell.

.

.

.

**Alright folks, my ridiculously long absence was kind of rude and uncalled for, so I apologize. Life has been kind of weird lately…yea.**

**So I'm really sorry for the wait. Things should be smoother from now on, hopefully. It might be a little while though bcuz I'm going on vacation next week. ^_^**

**Speaking of which, I hope you all are enjoying your summers as well. Stay safe and enjoy what's left of freedom before school steals it from us. **

**Oh, yeah.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Thankies, and much love :) **


	4. Not Normal

**OH. MY. DOGGY POO.**

**IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR.**

**Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you, arms spread wide, with full permission to stone me.**

**I am so so so so so so so so so so so sorry, and I slapped myself.**

**At first, I had decided to take time off the story to really think about the direction I wanted to go in. Which, now that I think about it, was probably pointless in a sense because I almost always end up winging it. -.-**

**Then, work caught up to me, as that was my senior year of highschool. Between college crap, prom crap, graduation crap, grade crap, and drama crap, writing hit the backburner.**

**And then after that…honestly…I forgot.**

**Uggghhhhhhhhh…**

**Gosh guys…..**

**I suck for doing this to you.**

.

.

.

"_Sesshy, love, what do you want for your birthday? You're going to be two years old…"_

_Said one year old stared up at his mother, delight in his eyes._

"_Momma…can I get a new toy?"he asked. Clutching his 'blankie' with chubby fingers._

"_Of course you can, my cute little boy, but surely you want something else…something magnificent…"_

"_Umm…I dunno."_

_The bright skies turned a little darker._

"_Yes, Sesshoumaru, you do know. I tell you all the time."she said angrily._

_The small child flinched and stepped back._

"_I can't wemember…"he whispered, looking down._

_When he looked back up, he screamed._

_What was once beautiful was now a rotting bloodied corpse._

"_What you want is your father's blood, little boy. You want him dead, and you want the rest of that filth he calls a family buried with him…how many times do I have to tell you!"_

_Sesshoumaru cringed, wiping his tears. What happened to his momma? Why was she acting like this?_

"_Remember, he did this to me. He made me what I am now…don't you ever, EVER forgive him!"she screamed, her voice distorted and gurgled, fresh blood bubbling up from what remained of her throat._

"_Sesshoumaru…"_

_H turned and saw another broken, mangled figure. It was a little girl, who looked like him and his mother. Her eye dangled from its socket and she held her innards in her hands._

_He cried out and ran away, but he was moving so slow. Her small hand, missing three fingers, clamped down on his shoulder and turned him around forcibly._

"_Don't you love me, brother?"she asked._

_He was too terrified to answer._

"_I'm your unborn sister…the one that father killed…don't tell me you've forgotten?"she asked._

"_Never forget."said his mother._

"_Never forget what he did to us."added his sister._

"_What he did to this family."_

"_What he did to us."_

"_His family."_

"_Us."_

"_Family."_

"_Murderer."_

"_Adulterer…"_

"_Hate him."_

"_Spite him."_

"_Never let him do to you what he did to us."_

_._

_._

_._

Sesshoumaru sat up with a frightened gasp. He was drenched in a cold sweat. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop shaking.

"It was a dream…just a dream…"he mumbled_. _

He could still feel his sister's rotten flesh on his shoulder, and breathed deeply to help with the nausea he felt. He could feel the bile rising in his throat, but he forced it down with sheer will, and hunched over, trembling violently.

"Sesshoumaru…you okay?"

It was the half-breed.

"I'm fine…leave me alone."

He heard his half-brother huff in frustration before trudging off. His phone vibrated.

**Kagome :)**

**Heyy, Sess. How goes it?**

He quickly typed a reply.

**Sesshoumaru**

**I am well.**

He got out of bed and stretched before heading toward the bathroom.

**Kagome :)**

**Kool. Listen, you can talk slang when you text, you know. Lyke diz…**

He rolled his eyes.

**Sesshoumaru**

**Brb - happy? Shower.**

Turning the water on the hottest it could go, he quickly lathered his body, wasting no time. He scrubbed his hair thoroughly with his mint shampoo. He loved the smell of it. Finishing up, he stepped out and dried off, and stared at his reflection in the mirror. His amber eyes looked dull. His skin seemed paler than usual as well. Maybe the after effects of that dream.

Whatever.

Grabbing his phone, he made the quick walk back to his room, ignoring the human woman's hello. Shutting the door behind him, he looked in his closet for another outfit. When were they going back to the mansion? This closet was so small. He grabbed a tank top and a white short sleeve shirt, throwing them on. Then he grabbed khaki cargo shorts, pulling them up, but not completely over his dog paw boxers. After that, he put on a black cardigan with white stripes on the end of the sleeves. He pulled on a pair of ankle socks and black **Nike Blazers**. He was pretty much set…now for his hair.

Grabbing a hair tie, he pulled his hair together and braided it all the way to where it reached knees, tying the hair tie at the end. As usual, he put on his mother's locket. And he put on her favorite pair of pearl earrings. People always questioned why he wore her jewelry.

They just didn't understand.

He walked out just as his father was passing by. The two stared at each other. Toga looked at his passed mate's pearls, the ones he got her for their 100th anniversary. The two of them had children late, during a time where the world would be more excepting.

"Is there a problem, father?"

" I just want you to know that yesterday's fight, on the first day of school, was absolutely unacceptable."

"Father, if someone crosses my path, I will engage."

"And I'm telling you that enough is enough. You will listen to the Alpha. Whether you respect me or not, there is protocol in this family, that we respect."

"Negative. Had you respected protocol, Mother would still be alive, my sister would still be alive…_we _would be a family. Not this patchwork quilt."

Inuyasha walked out just in time to see Toga backhand Sesshoumaru into the hallway wall beside them.

"Know your place my son. Never forget."

"I never have forgotten what you did to her you bastard. How dare you slap me when you're the cause of my very rebellion? Can you honestly say that this _human_ woman pleases you more than my mother did?"

Sesshoumaru stood up and held his sore cheek, before pushing his father out of the way. He grabbed his bag and marched out, slamming the door behind him.

He was so angry. So angry.

And he was hungry.

Annnnd of course, he left his leather fingerless gloves on his freakin bed side table. At least he had his wallet to pay the Miko back. Speaking of which, he had to text her. He pulled out his phone and checked. One unread message.

**Kagome :)**

**Musta been a long shower -.-**

Oops.

**Sesshoumaru**

**I apologize, Miko. But my bastard father annoyed me.**

He continued walking, glaring at a child who bumped into him running down the sidewalk.

Why was his life so…so…effed up? Why didn't his father love his mother? Instead…that…human…

He breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm himself. Walking into school with a bad mood like this was not going to help him avoid further conflict.

He stopped walking and sat down at a bench, his head in his hands. Vaguely he heard a car pull up in front of him, and someone called his name. He ignored it until soft hands touched his shoulder.

"Sesshoumaru?"

He looked up into those endless blue eyes filled with concern.

His brother was leaning out of the car window. Apparently, his strange friends had spotted him.

"Are you alright?"she asked.

He shrugged himself out of her touch and stood up quickly, startling her.

"I'm fine, Miko."he mumbled before following her into the car.

Inuyasha watched the two of them before opening his mouth, and closing it.

"Is there something you want, hanyou?"asked Sesshoumaru, ready for an argument.

"If you two are going to fight, please exit the vehicle in a timely manor."said Miroku. Sango nodded her head in agreement.

"Nah, no trouble. Here, you left these at home."

It was the gloves.

Sesshoumaru looked at Inuyasha, who held out the gloves with caution. Carefully, he took them and slid them on, before turning away and muttering a thanks.

"Awwww…."gushed Kagome, much to the chagrin of the half brothers.

"Shut up Kags."muttered Inuyasha with a slight blush.

"Bout time the two of you acted civil."mumbled Sango.

Sesshoumaru tuned out the rest of their conversation and looked around. The car was decent, fairly new and well maintained. He then turned to Kagome. She was wearing a white form fitting shirt with a slight v line, black skinny jeans, and white flip flops. Her hair was in a loose messy ponytail, and she had light mascara applied to her eyes. She had bright pink flower shaped earrings on and a necklace to match.

Her toenails and fingernails were painted neon green. What a weirdo.

And he was even weirder for allowing that word to even pass through his mind.

"Is he always this quiet?"whispered Kagome.

"Guy's a friggin mute when he wants to be. Only when he loses his temper does he act…different."answered Inuyasha.

"Different?"asked Sango.

"Uhhmmm…I can't describe it…you have to see for yourself, preferably from a distance."

Sango sighed after hearing that. This guy sounded like a nut job, but she wouldn't be rude like she had been yesterday. She took a deep breath before leaning backward from the front passenger seat.

"Sesshoumaru."

He turned.

"My name's Sango."she said, holding out her hand.

He stared at it before grabbing it. She had a firm grip.

Miroku spoke next.

"Sesshoumaru, we've had a few classes together in the past, but unfortunately, we've yet to make acquaintance. I'm Miroku."

Sesshoumaru nodded.

Kagome turned around in her seat to face Sesshoumaru.

"Seee…it's not that hard to make friends."she whispered.

"Who said we were friends?"he responded.

"Psh…trust me…you got in the car willingly. Now you have been sucked into a never ending inescapable vortex, doomed to spend eternity with our crew."she answered.

Again, this human girl rendered him speechless.

"And here we are. Thank you for boarding the lecher express. Have a good time in Hell high."said Sango, ignoring Miroku's pout.

They all exited and looked around.

Students were everywhere. Kagome didn't realize how big the school was until now. It was _huge._ She looked at her schedule.

Already, she was starting out one day behind, having gotten kicked out yesterday.

How annoying.

She looked over at Sesshoumaru who was glaring at a boy with red eyes and wavy black hair. The one from yesterday.

"So I see you didn't get suspended dog."spat Naraku.

"Neither did you, half breed."

"Tch, and your brother is any less?"

"Inuyasha is worth much more than you'll ever be, Naraku. Don't even let his name pass through your mind."whispered Sesshoumaru, baring his fangs.

Inuyasha barely contained his shock. His brother had never stood up for him before. Naraku was shocked as well. He rolled his eyes before pushing past them, and the ever-growing onlookers as well.

Kagome grabbed Inuyasha's trembling hand and squeezed it in comfort.

Sesshoumaru clenched his fist and glared at everyone and everything, before shoving his way through.

Kagome made to run after him but Inuyasha held her back.

"Give him some space Kags…"

She sighed before following him and the rest of the crew into the building.

The group all separated into their own classes. Kagome walked alone, ignoring the looks she got. She zoned out until she bumped into someone, or well rather, was pushed by someone.

Blue eyes met red ones.

"What's your name, ugly?"

Kagome stared at one of the most beautiful girl's she had seen in a long time. Bright dazzling red eyes, long hair in a bun, and red lipstick. But such a pretty face was marred with a wicked scowl.

"My name's Kagome. What's the problem?"

"You had the nerve to put your nasty human hands on my Sesshoumaru yesterday. Worse, you tried to hurt him. Don't you ever touch him. He's mine to touch, and mine alone."

"Who the heck are you? Sess isn't owned by anyone!"said Kagome, her temper flaring.

"Oh. It's 'Sess' is it? I doubt you'd have the balls to call him that to his face. And the name's Kagura. The most beautiful demoness to grace the halls of this school. I set the female standard. The men drool over me. The females envy me, want to be me, follow me. Be jealous, human."

"So you ask for my name, and then decide not to use it? Funny. Get over yourself. I can't be jealous of something I already have. I'll have you know that when I texted Sess, that's EXACTLY what I called him."replied Kagome, smirking at the shock on Kagura's face.

"You, a lowly human, have his number?"

Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Yup. And he texted me back, too. Be jealous, demon."said Kagome, using Kagura's words against her.

And with that she walked off, leaving Kagura with a wicked scowl on her face.

.

.

.

Sesshoumaru was sitting up on the school's roof, having pushed his legs under the small space at the bars, dangling his feet off the edge. His hands were clenching the metal bars, and his head was resting on them.

'_What's bothering you, bro?'_

He turned to see the faded figure of Aiko, his sister, sitting beside him.

"People try my patience."he whispered.

'_Shoulda killed them. What else is new?_'she asked.

He didn't answer.

'_I see you made a friend.'_she said.

"You were watching?"he asked.

'_We're always watching you, bro. We'll never leave you. We're not like Toga.'_

"You better not. I need you."

'_Woah. That's new. You hardly ever admit weakness.'_said Aiko, her amber orbs widening.

'_Sweetheart, needing something isn't always a weakness.'_

Both turned to see his mother, Hinako, sitting down behind him. She gently rubbed his ears, before running her hands through his hair.

"You can touch me today."said Sesshoumaru, leaning back with a soft sigh in content.

'_The more you need us, the more you feel us. But, that's as good as it gets. We can't come back.'_

Sesshoumaru frowned, sitting up and looking toward the sky.

"I would do anything to have father and his whore trade places with you and Aiko."he said softly.

'_And what of your brother? And remember, he is no father to you.'_said Hinako.

"Half brother."he corrected. "He…he should not perish for Toga's continuous failures."

His phone vibrated.

**Kagome :)-**

**Sess…r u ok?**

He felt that weird feeling in his chest again. A sort of warmth.

The translucent figure of his mother leaned over to peer at the phone before frowning.

Sesshoumaru stared at the phone, thinking of a reply, before typing it out.

**Sesshoumaru-**

**I am well.**

When he looked up, the figures of his dead mother and sister were gone.

.

.

.

He knew it wasn't normal. To see ones dead relatives, hold conversations, and sometimes feel their touch.

But as strong as he pushed himself to become, he knew that if they disappeared, he probably would too.

He would truly give all that he was to bring them back. To have them appear to him as real beings again. Not some sort of undead.

Seeing them reminded him of what could have been, but was cruelly ripped away.

As he walked off the roof and back into the building, he couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like if it was his sister attending school with him as a freshman. The boys he would fend off of her. The smiles they would give each other as they passed by in the hallways.

He would stay behind while she did whatever after school activities she wished. And he would take her home, and they'd walk in to the sound of his mother bustling about, talking with her friends on the phone, checking something on the stove, and she would turn around and her eyes would light up, and she'd put the phone down and smile at them, and he'd feel her familiar arms wrap around him in a loving embrace, and she'd ruffle his hair and kiss where the crescent moon lay on his forehead, and they'd chat about the day, and then they'd do their homework, during which his mother would call them down for a snack, and they'd eat and laugh and just love each other like a happy family would, and they'd relax and laugh the day away until his father returned, and he'd place down his suitcase, and dinner would be ready, and they'd eat as a family and just talk until they went to bed.

But that would NEVER happen because his father MURDERED his mother. Deserted her for some cheap human whore!

The world was spinning, and Sesshoumaru was glad he was still at the stairs that lead to the roof, because it was a deserted spot, and if anyone saw him shivering with raw barely contained rage, they'd fear for their lives. He fought to reign in his angry aura before security and the rest of the demon population in the school caught wind of it and peed themselves.

He regulated his breathing before straightening himself out, and fought not to scream at the pure agony he felt in his heart, the one that was buried within ice and almost damaged beyond repair. The heart that was missing so much…that had lost so much.

Sesshoumaru realized that he needed to get the hell out of the school. Today wasn't a good day for him, at all, and if ANYBODY gave him and crap he would _maul_ them, so he fixed the bag on his back and made his way to the front doors of the school.

Any students that were late and mingling in the hallway all but tripped over themselves to steer clear of him.

Ignoring the calls of school security, he pushed open one of the double doors and made his way out.

He just needed to clear his head. Numb himself down. Push whatever this anger, this…crazy out of control feeling was, back deep inside himself back behind that wall.

Only…that wall was full of cracks.

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.

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**Yes. Well…I wanted to show you guys that Sesshoumaru is definitely NOT ALL RIGHT.**

**I figure you probably understand a bit of how utterly messed up he is…seeing as how he interacts with his dead mother and sister.**

**Not a lot a Kag/Sess action going on here, but trust me, that will change soon. Whoop do I have stuff planned for those two, BWAHAHAAA. :D**

**Again…I'm terrible sorry for the ridiculously disgustingly long wait.**

**If you're still with me, which I totally understand if you're not, please leave a review and tell me what you think.**

**I love you guys…even though I suck right now, because of this delay…**

**=(**


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